"Home Burial" by Robert Frost

He saw her from the bottom of the stairs

Before she saw him. She was starting down,

Looking back over her shoulder at some fear.

She took a doubtful step and then undid it

To raise herself and look again. He spoke

Advancing toward her: ‘What is it you see

From up there always—for I want to know.’

She turned and sank upon her skirts at that,

And her face changed from terrified to dull.

He said to gain time: ‘What is it you see,’

Mounting until she cowered under him.

‘I will find out now—you must tell me, dear.’

She, in her place, refused him any help

With the least stiffening of her neck and silence.

She let him look, sure that he wouldn’t see,

Blind creature; and awhile he didn’t see.

But at last he murmured, ‘Oh,’ and again, ‘Oh.’

‘What is it—what?’ she said.

                                          ‘Just that I see.’

‘You don’t,’ she challenged. ‘Tell me what it is.’

‘The wonder is I didn’t see at once.

I never noticed it from here before.

I must be wonted to it—that’s the reason.

The little graveyard where my people are!

So small the window frames the whole of it.

Not so much larger than a bedroom, is it?

There are three stones of slate and one of marble,

Broad-shouldered little slabs there in the sunlight

On the sidehill. We haven’t to mind those.

But I understand: it is not the stones,

But the child’s mound—’

                             ‘Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t,’ she cried.

She withdrew shrinking from beneath his arm

That rested on the banister, and slid downstairs;

And turned on him with such a daunting look,

He said twice over before he knew himself:

‘Can’t a man speak of his own child he’s lost?’

‘Not you! Oh, where’s my hat? Oh, I don’t need it!

I must get out of here. I must get air.

I don’t know rightly whether any man can.’

‘Amy! Don’t go to someone else this time.

Listen to me. I won’t come down the stairs.’

He sat and fixed his chin between his fists.

‘There’s something I should like to ask you, dear.’

‘You don’t know how to ask it.’

                                              ‘Help me, then.’

Her fingers moved the latch for all reply.

‘My words are nearly always an offense.

I don’t know how to speak of anything

So as to please you. But I might be taught

I should suppose. I can’t say I see how.

A man must partly give up being a man

With women-folk. We could have some arrangement

By which I’d bind myself to keep hands off

Anything special you’re a-mind to name.

Though I don’t like such things ’twixt those that love.

Two that don’t love can’t live together without them.

But two that do can’t live together with them.’

She moved the latch a little. ‘Don’t—don’t go.

Don’t carry it to someone else this time.

Tell me about it if it’s something human.

Let me into your grief. I’m not so much

Unlike other folks as your standing there

Apart would make me out. Give me my chance.

I do think, though, you overdo it a little.

What was it brought you up to think it the thing

To take your mother-loss of a first child

So inconsolably—in the face of love.

You’d think his memory might be satisfied—’

‘There you go sneering now!’

                                           ‘I’m not, I’m not!

You make me angry. I’ll come down to you.

God, what a woman! And it’s come to this,

A man can’t speak of his own child that’s dead.’

‘You can’t because you don't know how to speak.

If you had any feelings, you that dug

With your own hand—how could you?—his little grave;

I saw you from that very window there,

Making the gravel leap and leap in air,

Leap up, like that, like that, and land so lightly

And roll back down the mound beside the hole.

I thought, Who is that man? I didn’t know you.

And I crept down the stairs and up the stairs

To look again, and still your spade kept lifting.

Then you came in. I heard your rumbling voice

Out in the kitchen, and I don’t know why,

But I went near to see with my own eyes.

You could sit there with the stains on your shoes

Of the fresh earth from your own baby’s grave

And talk about your everyday concerns.

You had stood the spade up against the wall

Outside there in the entry, for I saw it.’

‘I shall laugh the worst laugh I ever laughed.

I’m cursed. God, if I don’t believe I’m cursed.’

‘I can repeat the very words you were saying:

“Three foggy mornings and one rainy day

Will rot the best birch fence a man can build.”

Think of it, talk like that at such a time!

What had how long it takes a birch to rot

To do with what was in the darkened parlor?

You couldn’t care! The nearest friends can go

With anyone to death, comes so far short

They might as well not try to go at all.

No, from the time when one is sick to death,

One is alone, and he dies more alone.

Friends make pretense of following to the grave,

But before one is in it, their minds are turned

And making the best of their way back to life

And living people, and things they understand.

But the world’s evil. I won’t have grief so

If I can change it. Oh, I won’t, I won’t!’

‘There, you have said it all and you feel better.

You won’t go now. You’re crying. Close the door.

The heart’s gone out of it: why keep it up.

Amy! There’s someone coming down the road!’

‘You—oh, you think the talk is all. I must go—

Somewhere out of this house. How can I make you—’

‘If—you—do!’ She was opening the door wider.

‘Where do you mean to go?  First tell me that.

I’ll follow and bring you back by force.  I will!—’

Detailed Summary and Overview

Title: Home Burial

Poet: Robert Frost
Published:  published in his second collection, North of Boston (1914). The book is dedicated to his wife Elinor Frost, is subtitled “This Book of People.”

Form: Blank verse (unrhymed iambic pentameter)

“Home Burial” is a dramatic narrative poem written that captures an intense emotional confrontation between a grieving couple following the death of their child. The poem explores themes of grief, communication breakdown, gender roles, emotional isolation, and emotional expression. It is set in a domestic space but delves deep into the emotional and psychological landscape of its characters.

Opening Scene: The poem begins with the wife standing at the top of a staircase, looking out of a window at their child’s burial site. She is visibly emotional and disturbed. Her husband sees her but fails to understand the reason for her sorrow. He asks her what she is looking at, but she doesn’t respond immediately, which already shows a gap in their communication.

“He saw her from the bottom of the stairs
Before she saw him. She was starting down,
Looking back over her shoulder at some fear.”

Wife’s Grief and Accusation: The wife accuses her husband of being emotionally cold and unfeeling. She recalls how he spoke casually about the child’s grave, using physical and mechanical language ("making the gravel leap and leap in air"), which deeply hurt her. She is shocked that he could dig their child’s grave and then speak so unemotionally about it.

She feels that he does not share her grief, and this emotional disconnect makes her feel alienated and alone.

“You can’t because you don’t know how to speak.
If you had any feelings, you that dug
With your own hand—how could you?—his little grave;
I saw you from that window in the dark.”

Husband’s Response: The husband defends himself, explaining that men grieve differently. He says he doesn’t verbalize his sorrow but feels it internally. He accuses his wife of being unfair, of expecting him to mourn in the same way she does. He also suggests that her unwillingness to talk calmly and her constant criticism push him away.

“Can’t a man speak of his own child he’s lost?”
“I shall laugh the worst laugh I ever laughed.
I’m cursed. God, if I don’t believe I’m cursed.”

Communication Breakdown: As the poem progresses, the emotional gap between them widens. The wife feels suffocated and prepares to leave the house, saying she cannot live in a place where there is no emotional understanding or communication. The husband pleads with her to stay and talk, but his way of talking seems inadequate to her.

“I’ll follow and bring you back by force. I will!—”
“I’m going down to fetch the little spade.”

Conclusion: The poem ends on an ambiguous note. The wife is determined to leave the house, at least for a while, while the husband remains rooted in his own perspective. There is no reconciliation. The silence and emotional misalignment remain unresolved, symbolizing a permanent rift caused not just by grief, but by the inability to understand or empathize with each other’s way of grieving.

Themes:

1. Grief and Mourning: The poem shows two contrasting ways of mourning—the wife’s emotional outpour and the husband’s stoic silence.
2. Emotional Isolation: Both characters are isolated in their grief, unable to connect with or comfort each other.
3. Communication Breakdown: The inability to express feelings or understand each other leads to deeper alienation.
4. Gender Roles: The poem subtly critiques traditional gender expectations—stoic masculinity vs. expressive femininity.
5. Death and Domesticity: The juxtaposition of home life with the burial of a child makes the poem emotionally intense.

Style and Structure:

• Dramatic Dialogue: The poem is structured like a one-act play, using direct speech to portray the tension.
• Blank Verse: The use of unrhymed iambic pentameter gives the poem a natural conversational tone.
• Imagery: Strong visual imagery of the grave, the staircase, and the window all evoke emotional distance and division.

Symbolism:

• The Staircase: A literal and metaphorical divide between the couple.
• The Grave: A symbol of shared tragedy, yet interpreted and responded to differently by each.
• The Window: Represents perspective and vision—the wife looks out, seeking understanding; the husband looks in, focused on routine.

About Robert Frost

📚 Biography of Robert Frost

📌 Full Name: Robert Lee Frost

📌 Born: March 26, 1874 – San Francisco, California, USA

📌 Died: January 29, 1963 – Boston, Massachusetts, USA

📌 Nationality: American

📌 Occupation: Poet, Teacher, Lecturer

📌 Period: 20th-century American literature

📌 Notable Style: Realism, Nature Poetry, Regionalism (New England)

 

🧬 Early Life:

• Frost was born to William Prescott Frost Jr. and Isabelle Moodie.
• Frost’s father, a journalist, died of tuberculosis when Frost was 11.
• After his father’s death in 1885, with his mother and sister he moved from San Francisco to Lawrence, Massachusetts.
• Attended Dartmouth College briefly and later Harvard University, but did not complete a degree.
• Married Elinor Miriam White in 1895, with whom he had six children (only two outlived him).
• Worked in various jobs: teaching, farming, and writing.

🛤️ Turning Point:

• In 1912, Frost moved with his family to England, where he published his first poetry collections.
• There, he met and was influenced by poets like Edward Thomas and Ezra Pound.
• Published his first two volumes in England, gaining recognition before he was known in the U.S.
• Returned to America in 1915, soon became the most celebrated American poet of his time.

🏆 Literary Career and Major Achievements:

• Gained immense popularity in the U.S. during the 1920s.
• Became known as the poet of rural New England, though his themes were universal.
• Won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry four times:
• 1924: New Hampshire
• 1931: Collected Poems
• 1937: A Further Range
• 1943: A Witness Tree
• In 1961, read his poem “The Gift Outright” at President John F. Kennedy’s inauguration—first poet to do so.

 

✒️ Major Works:

📗 Poetry Collections:

1. A Boy’s Will (1913) – His first published book; includes personal and introspective poems.
2. North of Boston (1914) – Brought him fame; includes “Mending Wall”, “After Apple-Picking”, “The Death of the Hired Man”.
3. Mountain Interval (1916) – Includes “The Road Not Taken”, “Birches”, “Out, Out—”.
4. New Hampshire (1923) – Won the first Pulitzer Prize; includes “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”.
5. West-Running Brook (1928)
6. Collected Poems (1930)- consisted of Robert Frost's first five poetry books, Pulitzer Prize
7. A Further Range (1936) – Pulitzer Prize
8. A Witness Tree (1942) – Fourth and his last Pulitzer Prize
9. Come In, and Other Poems (1943)
10. Steeple Bush (1947)
11. In the Clearing (1962) – His last collection

 

📜 Famous Poems:

·        The Road Not Taken: The speaker reflects on a choice between two paths and how that decision shaped his life.

o   “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

·        Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening: The speaker pauses to admire the quiet woods but reminds himself of responsibilities ahead.

o   “The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

·        Birches: A nostalgic look at a boy swinging on birch trees; the speaker yearns to escape life’s burdens.

o   “Earth’s the right place for love:
I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.”

·        Mending Wall: Two neighbors meet to mend a wall; the speaker questions its purpose, while the neighbor clings to tradition.

o   “Good fences make good neighbors.”

·        Fire and Ice: A short philosophical poem debating whether fire (desire) or ice (hatred) will end the world.

o   “Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.”

·        Nothing Gold Can Stay

·        After Apple-Picking: The speaker is physically and spiritually exhausted after a day of apple picking—symbolic of life’s labor.

·        Acquainted with the Night

·        Home Burial: A husband and wife argue after the loss of their child; the wife feels the husband is emotionally distant.

o   “You can’t because you don’t know how to speak.”

·        The Gift Outright: A poem about the relationship between the American people and the land, recited at JFK’s inauguration.

·        The Death of the Hired Man

🧠 Themes in Frost's Poetry:

1. Nature: Used as both a setting and metaphor for human experiences.
2. Human Emotion and Psychology: Grief, loneliness, decision-making.
3. Rural Life: Especially in New England, but not idealized—often shown with harsh realities.
4. Philosophy and Metaphysics: Questions about life, death, and existence.
5. Ambiguity and Irony: Frost often presents multiple layers of meaning.

 

🧩 Style and Technique:

• Simple language, deep meaning.
• Master of blank verse and traditional meters.
• Known for conversational tone, realistic dialogue, and symbolism.
• His poems often begin in delight and end in wisdom (his own words).
• Employed rural settings but tackled universal human issues.

 

🏅 Honors and Recognition:

• 4× Pulitzer Prize winner. (1924, 1931, 1937, 1943)
• 44 honorary degrees from universities like Oxford and Harvard.
• Congressional Gold Medal (1960) for his contribution to American literature.
• Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress (1958–1959).

⚰️ Death and Legacy:

• Died in 1963 at age 88 from complications after surgery.
• Left behind a lasting legacy as one of America’s most beloved poets.
• Frequently included in academic syllabi and anthologies worldwide.
• Known as both a romantic and modern poet—bridging tradition and innovation.
• Robert Frost is considered one of America’s greatest and most beloved poets.