Love Poem for a Wife- 1 & 2- A K Ramanujan - for APPSC JL DL

Context/Background

A.K. Ramanujan wrote two distinct poems with the title “Love Poem for a Wife,” commonly referred to as “Love Poem for a Wife 1” and “Love Poem for a Wife 2”. Both poems explore the complexities of marriage, memory, and cultural differences, with “Love Poem for a Wife 1” appearing in his collection Relations in 1971.

The lines do not follow a specific rhyme scheme, nor are they of similar lengths.After reading a bit of ‘Love Poem for a Wife’ it becomes clear that Ramanujan chose to write in a stream of consciousness style. This is evident through the way that the lines flow into one another. The images are mixed and confused. It is oftentimes hard to tell where one scene starts and another begins. The speaker clutters his own thoughts with things he has experienced and with things he’d like to. His relationship is not a simple one, and this is reflected in the syntax.

 

Love Poem For a Wife-1

Introduction:

The poem entitled Love Poem ForA Wife - 1, like several other poems by Ramanujan, shows his interest in family life. This poem appeared in Ramanujan's second anthology, Relations; Poems. In this poem the poet stages a powerful psychic drama. In this poem, the speaker (the poet) has much to say about his wife and about himself too, besides speaking about his and his wife's relatives. The poem is an account of the speaker’s married life and the reasons which have led to the failure of his marriage. The family figures and relationships have become the signs and symbols for the expressions of the poet's emotions. It is an autobiographical and confessional poem like most of the poems of A. K. Ramanujan. This poem shows Ramanujan's gifts of humour, wit and irony. The title itself is ironical because it is not a love - poem which he has written. The poem is an exposure by the speaker of the deficiencies, shortcomings, and faults of the woman whom he has married. The speaker in the poem ridicules his wife's father for having been an ill-tempered man and for his habit of pacing to and fro and smoking a cigarette while waiting for her to return from her dates given to her boy - friends.

 

Stanza 1:

Really what keeps us apart

at the end of years is unshared

childhood. You cannot, for instance,

meet my father. He is some years dead.

Neither can I meet yours:

He had lately lost his temper

and mellowed.

 

Glossary:

Really ... apart= the poet (speaker) tells his wife the reason of their alienation. Apart = distant, on one side, separate.

At the ... years= many years of their married life have passed, but there is no familiarity between them and there is still a sort of monotony in their relationship.

Unshared childhood= perhaps there may be one reason of this unfamiliarity and alienation that they have not shared their childhood experiences.

You cannot…father= poet's wife cannot collect information about the background of her husband's family and his life because poet's father has died several years ago.

Neither ... yours = the poet too cannot know much about her life because her father is ill- tempered.

He had ... mellowed=the old man was no longer irritable but had softened in his temper.

 

The poet is in a reminiscent mood. He contemplates over the emotional alienation with his wife, with whom he was married long ago. He could not find emotional fulfilment with his wife, which pains him. He always pined for emotional attachment with his wife, but his feelings could never be honoured and appreciated by his wife. She never shared with poet's emotions. Many years had passed of their married life, yet there was a kind of unfamiliarity between them. The poet observes that the main cause of this alienation and unfamiliarity was that they could not share experiences since childhood onward. The early years of life are the formative years. Husband and wife cannot emotionally understand each other and cannot cultivate emotional identification and assimilation with each other, unless they live together childhood onwards. The poet and his wife did not have much knowledge about each other's bygone life because the sources of knowing each other's background were no more. Poet's father had already departed from this world and his wife's father who was in the beginning an ill - tempered man, but now he had greatly softened in his disposition.

 

Stanza 2:

In the transverse midnight gossip

of cousins’ reunions among

brandy fumes, cashews and the absences

of grandparents, you suddenly grow

nostalgic for my past and I

envy you your village dog - ride

and the mythology

of the seven crazy aunts .

 

Glossary:

Transverse= set crosswise, lying or situated in a cross direction.

In the transverse ... gossip = the poet recalls those moments when his and his wife's cousins used to sit in cross directions and remain involved in gossips from evening to midnight. Cousins’ reunion = the gathering of poet's and his wife's cousins after a long interval.

Brandy ... cashews= sipping a kind of wine prepared from grapes and chewing cashew - nuts.

Fumes = vaporous exaltation from matter, esp., of an odorous or harmful nature. Cashews = small kidney - shaped nuts.

The absences of grandparents= there were no old persons to interrupt their gossips i.e., they were already dead.

You suddenly ... my past = at these meetings poet's wife would become curious to know the details of her husband's past life.

I envy ... aunts= because of his wife's enjoying dog rides in her childhood and inventing the wonderful stories of her seven crazy aunts, the poet was envious of her.

 

The poet contemplates over those meetings which held in the evening with drinking and gossiping and continued till midnights. In these meetings, his and his wife's cousins met together. They met after a long interval so there remained a kind of enthusiasm among them. Their merriment continued from evening to midnight. They gossiped, sipped brandy and chewed cashew - nuts. They could talk and enjoy freely as their elders were not present. Their grandparents had already departed from this world. There was none to create hindrance in their liberty. During these meetings, the poet's wife would become extremely curious to know the details of her husband's past life while the poet envied her wife's childhood because she used to enjoy dog rides. He could not tolerate the invented stories of his wife's seven crazy aunts.

 

Stanza 3:

You begin to recognize me

passing from ghost to real

and back again in the albums

of family rumours , in brothers’

anecdotes of how noisily

father bathed,

slapping soap on his back.

You find sources for a familiar

Sheep - mouth look in a sepia wedding

picture of father in a turban

and mother standing on her bare

splayed feet , silver rings

on her second toes;

and reduce the entire career

of my erstwhile unique self

to the compulsion of some high

sentence in his Smilesian diary

 

Glossary:

You begin ... me= poet's wife was curious to know how he (the poet) looked in his childhood.

Passing ... albums = poet's wife had already known a lot about his childhood's activities from the family album.

Of family rumours = she knew about him from the members of family.

In brothers’ anecdotes = poet's brothers told many things about his father.

How noisily ... bathed= his brothers also told her about the noise which his father used to make during his bath.

Slapping ... back = poet's father especially used to make noise while rubbing soap on his back.

A sepia of wedding picture = a picture of the wedding in brown water colour; a wedding shown in a water - colour painting or in a drawing; or, perhaps, a faded photograph.

Sheep mouth look = a foolish expression.

Father in a turban = on the occasion of wedding, his father wore a turban.

Mother ... toes= on this wedding occasion, the poet's mother turned her feet outward and she wore silver rings on her toes.

And reduce ... self = the poet's wife formed this opinion that the poet could achieve anything unique in life due to God's blessings; otherwise he was a born fool.

To the compulsion ... sentence = poet's wisdom flourished under the guidance of God. His Smilesian diary = his diary was full of wise and instructive remarks like those made by the famous writer , Samuel Smiles , whose books on self - help and wise living are well known .

According to the poet, his wife was always curious to know about his past life and his childhood. She was ever trying to collect the information related to poet's life so that she might be able to confirm something exciting. Once she got an album which contained the pictures of poet's family members and relatives. She was extremely eager to know how the poet looked in his childhood. In this way, she succeeded to know a lot about the poet. She had great interest in collecting the information which indicated to the poet. Once she was told that poet's father used to make noise while bathing and rubbing soap on his back. The poet wore the expression of foolishness when he showed her the pictures of his father taken on his wedding day. His father wore a turban on that day while his mother wore silver rings on her toes. Poet's wife preserved an opinion that he (the poet) was nothing without fate or God's blessing. She often thought and told the poet that he could get anything extraordinary in life because his fate and God's grace helped him. She called him a born fool and a meaningless person. He next expresses his view that of late he had become a unique person perhaps in obedience to the wise precepts offered in his late father's diary which contained precepts and instructive remarks like those offered by the famous author Samuel Smiles in his books.

Stanza 4:

And you father, gone irrevocable

in age, after changing everyday

your youth's evenings,

he will acknowledge the wickedness

of no reminiscence: no, not

the burning end of the cigarette

in the balcony, pacing

to and fro as you came to the gate,

late, after what you thought

was an innocent

date with a nice muslim friend

who only hinted at touches.

 

Glossary:

Irrevocable= that cannot be retracted or revoked.

And you ... age = his wife's father has become very old and his attitude has also changed. Now he has brought a great change in him.

After ... evenings = when the poet's wife was young , she used to pass her evenings out of her house and her father tried hard to mould the conduct and behaviour of his daughter .

He will ... reminiscence = now her father does not believe that there can be any wrong in any past action.

No, not ... the cigarette = in the former years, his wife's father used to smoke cigars in order to get relief from tension while waiting his daughter.

In the balcony ... late = his wife's father kept walking to and fro in the balcony till late night.

After what ... touches= but his daughter consoled him by saying that she did not lose her chastity in the company of the Muslim boy and he only touched her amorously but had gone no further.

Paraphrase:

After speaking about his own father, the poet goes on to speak about his wife's father. In her youth, the poet's wife used to spend her evenings and even nights out of her house because she had an affair with a Muslim boy and her father made many efforts to mould her behaviour and conduct. But now her father does not believe that there can be wrong in any past action. Her father easily believed on her explanation. In former years, he used to wait her standing in the balcony for several hours. He kept on waiting and watching for her. In order to get rid of tension, he used to smoke many cigars. On her arrival he was consoled by her false explanations. She consoled him by saying that she maintained her circle and she did not allow him to go ahead or to cross his limit. He only touched her body amorously. Now whenever her father is asked her previous activities, he easily ignores by pretending that his daughter had no affair with any Muslim boy.

Stanza 5:

Only two weeks ago, in Chicago

You and brother James started

one of your old drag - out fights

about where the bathroom was

in the backyard

before, or after, the well

Next to the jackfruit tree

in your father's father's house

in Aleppi, Sister - in - law

and I were rather blank, cut - outs

sitting in our respective

slots in a room

that was nowhere as the two of you

got down to the floor to draw

blueprints of a house from memory

on everything, from newspapers

to the backs of envelopes

and road - maps of the United States

that happened

to flap in the other room

in a midnight wind ; you wagered heirlooms

and husband's earnings on what

Benjamin Uncle in Kuwait

would say about the Bathroom

and the well and the dying,

and by now dead,

Tree next to it.

 

Glossary:

Only two ... Chicago = recently two weeks ago an incident of quarrel took place in Chicago. You ...was = poet's wife and her brother James started arguing on the subject of bathroom and this argumentchanged into a quarrel.

Before ... in Aleppi = they quarrelled about where the bathroom was situatedin the backyard in their grandfather's house.

Sister - in - law ... room = the poet and James’ wife didnot participate in this argument and quarrel. They were only watching their quarrel on the subject ofbathroom. Nor did they care them due to being busy in their matter.

That was ... everything = thenpoet's wife and her brother sat on the floor of the room and started drawing a sketch of that house frommemory. They also analysed of everything contained in the house while refreshing their memory.

Youwagered ... earnings = they decided upon a wager. If the poet's wife is wrong, she will appoint herbrother heir of her husband's total earnings and in the case of James’ being wrong, he (James) willappoint her heir of his total property.

On what ... to it = they decided that for the final consequence,they would depend on their uncle who lived in Kuwait.

 

Now the poet comes out from his contemplation mood and thinks of his wife who has not brought even a bit of change in her. She has maintained the same nature by now. Further the poet narrates an incident which happened in Chicago. Only two weeks ago, in Chicago, she and her brother James had started quarrelling about where the bathroom was situated in the backyard in their grandfather's room and were only watching their proceeding quarrel. Later on his wife and James sat on the floor of the room and started sketching of their grandfather's house. They wanted to locate the right place ofbathroom in their map. They drew the sketch on the newspapers, on the backs of envelopes and onthe maps of the roads of United States. Whatever they got, they started drawing sketch. They alsodecided upon a wager on the right location of bathroom. The poet's wife decided to appoint her brotherthe heir of her husband's total earnings if proved wrong and her brother would appoint her the heir ofhis total property. They left the rest matter for their uncle who lived in Kuwait.

Stanza 6:

Probably only the Egyptians had it right:

their kings had sisters for queens

to continue the incests

of childhood into marriage .

Or we should do as well - meaning

Hindus did,

betroth us before birth,

forestalling even separate horoscopes

and mother's first periods

and wed us in the oral cradle

and carry marriage back into

the namelessness of childhoods.

 

Glossary:

Probably...right=in the matter of sharing childhood experiences, the ancient Egyptians were wise.

Their kings ... marriage= the poet points out that the ancient Egyptians did the right thing byestablishing a custom that the heir to the throne should marry his own sister because the marriage wasthen sure to prove successful because the prince and his sister would be able to share their childhoodexperiences.

Or we ... Hindus did= the poet gives another example of Hindu tradition in which hismarriage could have proved a success.

Betroth ... childhoods= according to Hindu tradition, someHindu mothers betrothed their sons and daughters even before they were born because by thatmethod the need for horoscopes in the case of these boys and girls would not arise and due to beingbrought up by their mothers in close proximity, they would be able to share their childhoodexperiences after their marriage.

 

The poet then goes on to say that his wife and he could have had a successful marriage if he had

married his own sister because then he could have shared his childhood with her, while his marriage tohis present wife had failed because he had not shared his childhood experiences with her. In thisrespect, the ancient Egyptians were wise because the ancient Egyptian heirs to the throne were undera traditional obligation to marry their sisters. In this case the marriage was sure to prove successfuland the prince and his sister would be able to share their childhood experiences. Actually, of course,the ancient Egyptians had established this custom so that the throne should at no stage pass into thehands of foreigners. Another way in which the speaker’s marriage could have proved a success was that his mother had, in case she gave birth to a son and the other woman gave birth to a daughter, the boy and girl would indue course be married to each other because in that way also the newly born boy and girl would havebeen able to share their childhood experiences by being brought up by their mothers in close proximityto each other. In that case the boy and the girl could even have been married when they still lay in theircradles. This custom was prevalent in ancient India. Some Hindu mothers betrothed their sons anddaughters even before they were born because by that method the need of horoscope in the case of

these boys and girls would not arise.

 

Critical Appreciation of the Poem:

The Subject - Matter of the Poem: A Poem about Conjugal Life:

Love Poem for a Wife 1, like several other poems by Ramanujan, shows his interest in family life.

According to a poet - critic, the family is one of the central metaphors with which Ramanujan thinks.

Ramanujan's familial interest shows itself also in the poem entitled Obituary in which the speaker hassomething to say about the circumstances of his late father; and this interest shows itself too in thepoem entitled Of Mother, Among Other Things in which the speaker has something to say about hismother. In the poem before us, the speaker has much to say about his wife and about himself too,besides speaking about his and his wife's relatives. The poem is an account of the speaker's marriedlife and the reasons which have led to the failure of his marriage, particularly the worsening of theconjugal situation with the passing of years.

 

The Speaker's Ridiculing His Wife on Various Grounds:

Love Poem for a Wife I shows Ramanujan's gifts of humour, wit and irony. The title itself is ironicalbecause it is not a love - poem which Ramanujan has written. The poem is an exposure by the speakerof the deficiencies, shortcomings, and faults of the woman whom he has married. The speaker doesnot praise himself by any means. He speaks about himself also in a disparaging tone; but his irony andwit are directed chiefly against his wife and against his wife's father. The speaker ridicules his wife forher talking a lot about her seven crazy aunts who probably did not exist at all. He ridicules her forhaving had dates with a Muslim boy and for coming home late at night and telling her father that therewas nothing at all between her and the Muslim boy. Then he ridicules her for getting into ameaningless discussion with her brother James as to where precisely the bathroom was situated in hergrandfather's house in Alleppey. And he also ridicules her for having offered her family heirlooms andher husband's earnings to James if she lost the bet about what the uncle in Kuwait had said about thebathroom, the well, and the dead tree by the side of the well.

The Speaker's Ridiculing of His Wife's Father:

The speaker in the poem ridicules his wife's father for having been an ill-tempered man though by nowhe has greatly softened in his disposition. This father used to wait for his daughter till late in the nightbecause she used to go out to keep dates with boy - friends, particularly with a Muslim boy who onlyhinted at touches (meaning that he merely tried to touch her amorously but never actually dared totouch her or to go beyond touching her). The speaker also ridicules his wife's father for his habit ofpacing to and fro, and smoking a cigarette, while he waited for her to return from her dates. Then heridicules her father for having expressed the view that there was no wickedness in remembering one'spast misdeeds.

The Speaker's Ridiculing of Himself and of His Own Father too:

The speaker does not spare either himself or his own father while making his attacks; and here too his remarks are ironical and witty. He speaks about his father's noisy bathing in the course of which thefather used to rub the soap on his back with a lot of zest and vigour. He also ridicules his father for theway in which he maintained a Smilesian diary (meaning a diary which contained some wise utterancesand instructive aphorisms in the style of the famous author, Samuel Smiles). And he ridicules himselffor the silly, sheepish look which appeared on his face when he showed his wife the picture of hisfather and mother on their wedding - day, the father wearing a turban and the mother wearing silverrings on her toes. He also ridicules himself by saying that some time ago he had become a uniqueperson and that this fact had been recorded by his late father in his diary.

 

Other Examples of Wit and Humour in the Poem:

Then there is some wit in the poem, even apart from these satirical attacks on his wife, on his wife'sfather, on himself, and on his own father. This wit shows itself in the speaker's pointing out that theancient Egyptians did the right thing by establishing a custom that the heir to the throne should marryhis own sister because the marriage was then sure to prove successful because the prince and hissister would be able to share their childhood experiences. Actually, of course, the ancient Egyptianshad established this custom so that the throne should at no stage pass into the hands of foreigners; butthe speaker in the poem gives this custom a witty twist. And the speaker gives another witty turn to hisargument when he speaks about the habit of some Hindu mothers to betrothe their sons and daughterseven before they are born because by that method the need for horoscopes in the case of these boysand girls would not arise. Then there are certain humorous touches in the course of the poem too.There is, for instance, the family reunion at which the cousins sip brandy and chew cashew nuts, and there are no grandparents to interrupt the midnight gossip. Later in the poem there is a humorousreference to an uncle in Kuwait, and also to a dying tree which must be dead by now.

 

Love Poem For a Wife-2

‘Love Poem for a Wife’ by A. K. Ramanujan is an untraditional, image-rich, love song dedicated to the poet’s sleeping wife.

The poem begins with the speaker describing a fight he had with his wife. It was so long that it felt like it lasted days. The argument brought to mind images from their different pasts. He looks back into his wife’s past and sees her life as an adolescent in Aden, Yemen. The speaker also sees their present, in India, and all the colors and patterns of Kerala.

In the second half of the poem, he wakes from a dream in which he saw his face merge with his wife’s. They became the same person, an androgynous god. When he gets up, he is happy to have had this experience but sad that they are once again physically separate people. In the end, his wife remains sleeping and he gazes at her in the morning light.

 

Poetic Techniques

One of the most important techniques is enjambment. This occurs when a line is cut off before its natural stopping point.  It forces a reader down to the next line, and the next, quickly. One is forced to move forward in order to comfortably resolve a phrase or sentence. A perfect example of the way in which lines are cut off is between lines four and five of the first stanza. A reader has to get down to line five to find out what “We would never know”. Another example is between lines four and five in the fifth stanza.

Another technique used by Ramanujan in ‘Love Poem for a Wife’ is alliteration. It occurs when words are used in succession, or at least appear close together, and begin with the same letter. There is an example of this happening in the first stanza with the words “child’s” and “changing.” It is extended, with the use of “chameleon” in the same line. Another example appears at the end of stanza two with “wearing white”.

Metaphor and simile are both used in the text as the speaker compares his wife to a variety of different things, such as  “a pouting difficult child”. Another moment in the fifth stanza sees the speaker use a simile to compare his own face, and hers, to his “dragnet past”. 

 

Analysis, Stanza by Stanza

Stanza One

After a night of rage

that lasted days

quarrels in a forest,

waterfalls, exchanges, marriage,

exploration of bays

and places we had never known

we would never know,

 

my wife’s always

changing syriac face,

chosen of all faces

a pouting difficult child’s

changing in the chameleon

emerald

wilderness of Kerala

small cousin to tall

In the first lines of ‘Love Poem for a Wife’ the speaker begins by describing a fight he had with his wife. It was long, even though it only last night, it felt like it lasted days. The argument brought to mind images from their past, and their future. As well as those places they “would never know”.  The speaker describes forest and waterfalls, as well as exchanges and marriages.

The way in which these images bounce around to relate to how he speaks about and sees his wife’s face. It is Syriac, meaning she comes from Syria. When he thinks of his wife, he thinks of the way her face changes like chameleons. The speaker references the “emerald wildernesses of Kerala”.  This is a state on India’s Malabar coast. It is known for its beautiful natural spaces and animals.

 

Stanza Two

mythic men, rubberplant

and peppervine,

frocks with print patterns

copied locally

from the dotted

butterfly,

grandmother wearing white

day and night in a village

From the reference to his wife’s face, the speaker goes into three stanzas of images that speak to his surroundings. They were brought to his mind when he thought about his wife. He imagines rubber plants and “peppervine” frocks with print patterns. These patterns come from local dotted butterflies. They are worn by “grandmother…day and night in a village.”

 

Stanza Three

full of the color schemes

of kraits7

and gartersnakes

adolescent in Aden8

among stabbing

Arabs, betrayed and whipped

yet happy among ships

in harbor

and the evacuees,

the borrowed earth

In the third stanza of ‘Love Poem for a Wife’ he speaks again of color schemes. The colors come from “kraits” and “garter snakes,” both found in India. There is another location referenced by the speaker in the second line of the third stanza. He speaks about “Aden” the capital of Yemen. This is a place of great contrast.  The speaker tells of how his wife’s adolescence was spent in the city. But, she and her family members were unable to remain there.

 

Stanza Four

under the borrowed trees;

taught dry and wet,

hot and cold

by the monsoon then,

by the siroccos now

on copper

dustcones, the crater

townships in the volcanoes

of Aden:

The contrasts continue, with the dry and wet and hot and cold. This is related to the monsoon season and the siroccos. A kind of wind that blows from North Africa across the Mediterranean.

It is interesting to consider how the speaker brings up these images. He is assuming that the reader is going to be able to relate to them. Therefore, one might want to consider the audience he had in mind. It could be one which is already familiar with the local customs, colours and plants of this region of India and the ups and downs and weather patterns in Aden.

 

Stanza Five

I dreamed one day

that face my own yet hers,

with my own nowhere

to be found; lost; cut

loose like my dragnet

past

I woke up and groped

turned on the realism

of the ceiling light

The speaker changes directions slightly in the fifth stanza when he turns to speak about a specific dream he had. He recalls how in the dream his face became her own, and her face became his. The separation was “nowhere to be found”.

He compares the way in which his own history disappeared to a “dragnet,” a kind of net which is dragged through a river in order to catch fish. After having the dream he woke up and groped around. He was brought back into reality when he turned on the ceiling light.

 

Stanza Six

found half a mirror

in the mountain cabin

fallen behind the dresser

to look at my face now

and the face

of her sleep, still asleep

and very syriac on the bed

The speaker continues to narrate what the aftermath of the specific dream was like in the sixth stanza of ‘Love Poem for a Wife’. He looked around until he found “half a mirror“. The mirror had “fallen behind a dresser” in the mountain cabin. He used it to look at his face, but he is also able to see her behind him. She was there, on her side of the bed, with her “very Syriac” face.

 

Stanza Seven

behind: happy for once

at such loss of face,

whole in the ambivalence

of being halfwomanhalfman contained in a common

body,

androgynous as a god

balancing stillness in the middle

 

of a duel to make it dance:

soon to be myself, a man

unhappy in the morning

to be himself again,

the past still there

a drying

net on the mountain,

In the seventh stanza, he expresses happiness with the fact that she lost her face. He is remembering his dream and the fact that in the dream they were half-woman, half-man. They were both within a “common body”. The speaker compares this morphing of their selves to an androgynous god. He knows that soon the dream is going to pass and he will be back to being himself. He will be the “drying net on the mountain”.

 

Stanza Eight

in the morning, in the waking

my wife’s face still fast

asleep, blessed as by

butterfly, snake, shiprope

and grandmother’s other

children,

by my only love’s only

insatiable envy.

In the eighth stanza of ‘Love Poem for a Wife’, morning comes. He wakes up first and looks again at his wife’s face. She is still fast asleep “blessed as by butterfly” and snake. The images spoken about in the first four stanzas come back to him. These are the elements of her past, and she has been blessed by them. In the last line, he admits to a feeling of envy he has of anyone else who might have a claim over his wife.